Uganda needs a honest conversation about marriage

It’s Time to Bring Marriage Back to Its True Meaning

COMMENT | NANTEZA SARAH KYOBE |  Recent remarks by President Yoweri Museveni on the rising cost of bride price and lavish weddings have reignited an important national conversation. Whether one agrees with every aspect of his argument or not, his central concern deserves serious reflection. Marriage, which should be the foundation of family and society, is increasingly becoming financially out of reach for many young Ugandans.

Today, weddings and traditional introductions have evolved into grand social events where families and couples feel pressured to impress rather than simply celebrate. In many cases, young people begin married life carrying debts accumulated from a single day’s ceremony. The celebration ends, but the financial burden remains.

I have seen this reality among people close to me. Two of my friends who recently got married spent enormous amounts of money on their weddings. One nearly crumbled under the weight of the debts that followed. It is becoming common to see couples host glamorous ceremonies only to spend the following months struggling to pay rent, meet household expenses, or save for their children’s education. That is not the purpose of marriage.

Perhaps it is time to revisit the wisdom of our grandparents

As a Muganda, I remember how simple and dignified marriage ceremonies used to be. The process began with the Ssenga, who would receive the young man and only three or four members of his family. She would then inform her brother, the girl’s father, that someone wished to marry his daughter. If he approved, he wrote a letter inviting the groom’s family for a formal visit.

The introduction itself was a family affair. It was held inside the home, not in an elaborately decorated venue. Only close relatives and a few neighbours attended. There were no extravagant displays, no endless entertainment programmes, and no pressure to outdo previous ceremonies.

The wedding was equally modest. The groom often remained at home awaiting the arrival of the bride, who sometimes came on a bicycle accompanied by a few relatives and friends. A small tent, light refreshments, prayers, blessings, and the couple officially began their new life together. The emphasis was on the union, not on the event itself. Somewhere along the way, we lost that balance.

Today’s ceremonies often resemble exhibitions of wealth. Families hire expensive venues, organize elaborate decorations, purchase multiple outfits, and invite hundreds of guests. Social media has only intensified the pressure, encouraging couples to stage weddings that are more about public perception than lifelong commitment.

The discussion on bride price also deserves honest reflection.

In Buganda culture, bride price was traditionally a token of appreciation rather than a commercial transaction. During my aunties’ introductions, my grandfather would simply ask for a Bible, while the groom’s family voluntarily presented whatever gifts they wished. The intention was never to put a monetary value on a daughter.

Across Uganda, bride-price customs differ. In many cattle-keeping communities, particularly in western Uganda and Karamoja, cattle have historically formed an important part of marriage traditions. These customs deserve respect because they reflect the heritage and values of different communities. However, culture should strengthen families, not create financial barriers that discourage young people from marrying.

Traditions are not frozen in time. Every generation has a responsibility to preserve what is valuable while adapting practices that no longer serve society well. Simplicity should not be mistaken for poverty, nor should extravagance be confused with success.

Marriage is ultimately about love, commitment, responsibility and building a family. The strength of a marriage is not measured by the number of guests at the wedding, the size of the bride price, or the cost of the reception. It is measured by the ability of two people to build a stable home together.

Uganda needs an honest national conversation involving cultural leaders, religious institutions, parents and young people. We should encourage ceremonies that are dignified, culturally meaningful and financially sustainable. If we restore marriage to its true purpose, we will make it easier for young couples to begin their lives with hope rather than debt.