Uganda needs a conversation about marriage

COMMENT | NANTEZA SARAH KYOBE |  Recent remarks by President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni on the rising cost of bride price and increasingly expensive wedding ceremonies have sparked an important national conversation. Whether one agrees with every aspect of his argument or not, the concern he raised deserves serious reflection.

Marriage, which should remain the foundation of family and society, is becoming financially challenging for many young Ugandans. What was once primarily a union between two people and their families has, in many cases, evolved into an expensive social event where couples and families feel pressured to impress rather than celebrate.

Today, some young people begin married life burdened by debts accumulated from a single day’s ceremony. The decorations are taken down, the guests return home, but the financial pressure remains for months or even years. This raises an important question: are we losing sight of the true purpose of marriage?

I have witnessed this reality among people close to me. Two of my friends recently held elaborate wedding ceremonies that required significant financial sacrifices. While the celebrations were memorable, one of them nearly struggled under the weight of the debts that followed. It is becoming increasingly common to see couples spend heavily on weddings only to face difficulties meeting basic household needs, paying rent, investing in their future, or saving for their children’s education.

That cannot be the foundation upon which a marriage begins.

Perhaps it is time to revisit the wisdom and simplicity of previous generations.

As a Muganda, I remember stories of how marriage ceremonies were traditionally conducted with dignity, respect and modesty. The process began with the Ssenga, who would receive the young man and a few members of his family. She would then inform the girl’s father that there was someone interested in marrying his daughter. If the family approved, the father would send an invitation for a formal visit.

The introduction ceremony was primarily a family affair. It took place within the home, with close relatives and a few neighbours in attendance. There were no expensive venues, elaborate decorations or pressure to compete with other families. The focus was on the union, the families involved and the commitment being made.

The wedding ceremony was equally simple. The groom would often wait at home as the bride arrived with a small group of relatives and friends. A modest gathering, prayers, blessings and celebrations were enough to mark the beginning of a new chapter in the couple’s lives.

Somewhere along the way, society lost that balance.

Today, many weddings have become displays of wealth. Families spend large sums hiring luxurious venues, arranging expensive decorations, purchasing multiple outfits and hosting hundreds of guests. Social media has further intensified this pressure, encouraging couples to create ceremonies that appear impressive rather than focusing on the lifelong commitment that follows.

The conversation around bride price also requires honest reflection.

Traditionally, bride price was not intended to be a commercial transaction but rather a symbolic gesture of appreciation between families. In my own family experience, particularly during my aunties’ introductions, my grandfather would simply ask for a Bible, while the groom’s family would voluntarily offer gifts according to their ability. The practice was never meant to place a financial value on a daughter.

Uganda is a country of diverse cultures, and marriage traditions vary across communities. In many cattle-keeping societies, including communities in western Uganda and Karamoja, cattle have historically played an important role in marriage customs. These traditions are valuable expressions of cultural identity and should be respected.

However, culture should unite families and strengthen relationships—not become a financial barrier that prevents young people from starting families.

Traditions are not meant to remain unchanged forever. Every generation has a responsibility to preserve what is meaningful while adapting practices that no longer serve society. Simplicity should not be confused with poverty, just as extravagance should not be mistaken for success.

At its core, marriage is about love, commitment, responsibility and building a stable family. The strength of a marriage is not determined by the number of guests at a wedding, the size of the bride price or the cost of the reception. It is measured by the ability of two people to support each other and build a meaningful life together.

Uganda needs a broader conversation involving cultural leaders, religious institutions, parents and young people on how to promote marriages that are dignified, culturally relevant and financially sustainable.

Restoring marriage to its true meaning does not mean abandoning culture. It means returning to the values that made marriage important in the first place—commitment, respect, family and responsibility.

When young couples are allowed to begin their lives with hope rather than debt, we strengthen not only marriages but the future of Ugandan society.